the Lord's leading

12^th November

What a week it has been. We put in our offer last Tuesday and the vendors took the evening to discuss it which raised our hopes but we were then told it had been rejected. Just a little more said the estate agent. So we agreed with the boys to offer 302 and after a whole weekend of waiting that offer was rejected too. The discussions with the estate agent have been endless but we are left with an invite to meet the vendors again for a sandwich and cup of tea and be shown over their home. This potentially would work well with moving stuff out of the bungalow and the next chemo. I have been reminded of something else Joe said in his message. How before a momentous event we can trace through God’s Word and see how His people were weakened. Gideon for example, and how he had to make his army smaller and smaller. During the week I felt emotionally drained and weakened. Julian was definitely weakened after his chemo. Now after a few sleepless nights I feel both physically and mentally weakened. “Aim high and follow your dreams” I used to say to Dan. So why am I not following my own advice? Do we sit here and do nothing apart from become frustrated? Or do we chase this dream and meet the vendors? Julian is more prepared to simply wait. Last night I read Isaiah 42. I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them...... Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.

When we were last down at Steve’s he mentioned how he was reading through Isaiah and what a dismal picture it was. I remembered how at chapter 40 the book changes dramatically and so I resolved to read through those precious and uplifting latter chapters once more. I remembered how Charles and others had told us to read God’s Word when we needed guidance and so Julian and I began reading through the Psalms but all we were reading about was water!! And with Julian’s fear of flooding it seemed unlikely that God would find us a house near a riverbank!! When I began reading through the last half of Isaiah I couldn’t fail to notice how often water was mentioned. I am the Lord who opened a way through the waters, making a dry path through the sea. Joe touched on this in his sermon that memorable Sunday.

^{Isaiah 41:17} “When the poor and needy search for water and there is none,
and their tongues are parched from thirst,
then I, the Lord, will answer them.
I, the God of Israel, will never abandon them.
¹⁸ I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus.
I will give them fountains of water in the valleys.
I will fill the desert with pools of water.
Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground.

^43:20 Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
so my chosen people can be refreshed.

Ah, now was this meaning something to me? The name Tiddleywink is said to derive its name through someone giving a drink to refresh passing cattle drovers!! Charles was the first to mention what a great place that would be to stop off on the Bancroft route to Devon for a cup of tea. We also had noted how deceptively close the property is to the M4 and how other family members and friends might do the same!

^{Isaiah 44:3} For I will pour out water to quench your thirst
and to irrigate your parched fields.
And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants,
and my blessing on your children.
⁴ They will thrive like watered grass,
like willows on a riverbank.

^48:17 “I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is good for you
and leads you along the paths you should follow.
¹⁸ Oh, that you had listened to my commands!
Then you would have had peace flowing like a gentle river
and righteousness rolling over you like waves in the sea.

²⁰ The Lord has redeemed His servants,
the people of Israel.
²¹ They were not thirsty
when He led them through the desert.
He divided the rock,
and water gushed out for them to drink.

^49:9 They will be My sheep, grazing in green pastures
and on hills that were previously bare.
¹⁰ They will neither hunger nor thirst.
The searing sun will not reach them anymore.
For the Lord in his mercy will lead them;
He will lead them beside cool waters.

^55:1 Is anyone thirsty?
Come and drink—
even if you have no money!

^58:11 The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.

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seeking Guidance

4^th November

We are home in Cheshunt now and have had a few days to think things through and talk things over between ourselves and the boys. Both Stephen and Ben are keen and Naomi is backing us too! We feel an offer of £300,000 on the property is the right one. We can only afford up to 305 which would be really scraping the barrel so that is the plan for today. Last night I was looking for the verse in Deuteronomy which Joe quoted and instead came across “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the One Who goes before you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you nor forsake you.” (Deut 31:8) and “The Lord will bless everything you do and will fill your storehouses with grain. The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you.” (Deut 28:8) As I write this with the sun pouring onto the dining room table and in the peace and quiet of our lovely Cheshunt home I still don’t want to leave. But if God wants us to then He knows what is best for us. Maybe another significant point to note is that the cottage in Tiddleywink came on the market on July 30^th! If that is the house for us then 3 significant things happened in quick succession that day!!

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waiting

31^st October

The estate agent rang today. I explained the situation, how we loved the cottage but can do nothing now for a few days. She was very helpful and understanding. I feel I would love confirmation now. I know God can easily shut the door. But it would be very exciting if He opened it wider! I don’t know if we can afford this property just with the proceeds from Ash and our savings, particularly now as Julian’s sick pay has come to an end. But having typed all this up and read it through I’m beginning to feel this journey is going somewhere and I remember Joe’s words, God IS leading. I’m at peace today knowing He is in control. And I’m at peace knowing that He WILL guide us and it will be the right way. If that way is not Tiddleywink then I’m trying to not mind!!!

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Castle Combe church

October 31^st

I nearly didn’t bring my journal to Ash but I’m so glad I did! God has worked in such an amazing way over the last few days that my hand will ache trying to get it all down on paper. Where to start? After finding what seemed the perfect property in Winsley, a stone’s throw from the Co-op and health centre and also set in such beautiful countryside with an accessible train station (well, kind of!) I emailed for a viewing only to receive a phone call from the estate agent saying it had sold that very morning! Our hopes were dashed again which is why I nearly didn’t bring my journal! However Julian had his blood test and we travelled to Brislington. On the Saturday we all drove to Winsley and loved it. We saw the house with the sold board outside and wondered why. It looked even better in real life! Sunday we were due to visit Combe Down chapel. Then 3 significant things happened to change our plans. Firstly we found out the Pastor Jon Ikin wasn’t preaching that day as it was half term. Then Lynsey had a bad night with Raffie and wasn’t up to going to church, and thirdly Steve’s friend Joe had popped in briefly and mentioned he was preaching at a tiny church in Castle Combe, and Steve wanted to go and hear and support him. We have met Joe briefly a few times and quickly agreed. So Sunday saw us setting off in an unexpected and different direction! It was a beautiful ride to Castle Combe; a beautiful arrival in the village on a sunny Autumnal day, and the church was as welcoming as Hertford!! Could there ever be as welcoming a church as Hertford was in those early days?! But to walk in and see Steve and his son getting the communion ready, the relaxed and happy atmosphere with people chatting and so obviously pleased to be there, the quaint old church and lack of formal organisation brought flashbacks of those golden days when we first went to Hertford. It just needed Charles and Tanya there to be perfect! But we know that no church is perfect. The children sang out the front and Joe got up to preach. He said how God is leading us even though we don’t think He is. Words which came back to me time and again this week. He read in Deuteronomy how we will look back and see the way God has led us. How fitting for our situation. And then we had a sweet time of communion, again with memories of those long lost Hertford days. After the service and over a lovely cup of coffee we told people how we were thinking of moving that way and they said “come to us; our church needs more people”! Is that a call too? Incidentally we went to Combe Down chapel in the evening and said the same thing but people just smiled and nodded!! Of the two services the morning was much more memorable and inviting and ‘us’!! So on Monday Julian and I walked around Castle Combe and then drove on into Yatton Keynell, a beautiful little village, more so even than Winsley. And joy of joys, Chippenham just down the road. So much closer to Ben and Jenny. We booked a viewing for a house on Wednesday afternoon, then on Tuesday found one in Yatton Keynell, and booked a viewing there. On Tuesday evening I showed Steve one I had found earlier in the tiny hamlet of Tiddleywink and asked if he thought we should view that too. No harm he said. So I managed to squeeze in a phone call to the agent just before Lynsey called out that dinner was ready. It must have been their closing time but they could fit us in the next morning!

So 10.15 Wednesday saw us at Tiddleywink- and we loved it! After the viewing we parked the car in Yatton Keynell to walk into Tiddleywink to see how easy it was and there we met the owners!! They were so friendly and invited us in for a cup of tea and another viewing! We declined as we didn’t want to trouble them and instead walked on a little way and met the neighbour in number 8 who told us more about the area and then took us round the back and showed us the allotment area and garage which could go with the property! We walked back to Yatton Keynell, looked at Ebenezer chapel where the Castle Combe folks help out on Sunday afternoons, bought some baguettes and cheese in the village shop, and noted the surgery. We also noted how friendly everyone is and bought some fish and chips from the village pub which is highly recommended! We ate them in the car in the sunshine watching some chickens running free range! After viewing a house in Yatton Keynell which immediately felt claustrophobic after Tiddleywink we decided that if there was the opportunity of a 2^nd viewing then we should take it now. So back at Tiddleywink we knocked on the door and the kind owner let us in and explained all the work he had done on the house. The two children arrived back with their Mum and they were so touchingly adorable! Again we were offered tea but we had to cut short our visit as we had our 3^rd viewing to reach. Maybe it was for the best as we would have stayed far too long. And we only just caught them in. They were back for half term but heading down to Bournemouth the next day. God certainly worked in an amazing way and in such detail. I don’t know where it will lead now. In my mind Yatton Keynell is certainly a strong possibility with Castle Combe as our church. Whether this cottage in Tiddleywink is right is for the Lord to tell us. Julian has his chemo now so we are forced to wait and not rush headlong into something that may be wrong. I think this wait is a good thing. And if the cottage sells from beneath our feet then we will know it isn’t the right one for us.

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a step closer

October 20^th

2 months have passed since I last picked up my pen. In between that time we have had another few days area hunting around Bristol, Ben and Jenny’s lovely wedding and Julian’s 1^st round of chemo.

The time in Farrington Gurney was very profitable. We spent a lot of time at the Chew Valley lakes which would be a wonderful place to live but so expensive and hardly any properties coming on the market. We spent a lovely time with Nick and Mary too who are encouraging us in our search. As well of course as seeing Steve, Lynsey and Raffie. We seem close to our move area, if we are moving, but nowhere is right.

The wedding was wonderful. Way above my expectations. Secretly I was dreading it but after such a happy day I wanted to do it all over again! The sun broke through the clouds by late afternoon but until Jenny pointed it out I hadn’t actually realised it had been missing. The day was so full of happiness we had no need of sun. A little picture of how in heaven the Lord IS the Sun. Jan asked me at the reception if anything had happened on the moving front to which I replied in the negative whilst unbeknown to me Charles was having a little talk with Steve and Lynsey about our move! The following Sunday morning found them at Combe Down for church. A week or so after I had a text from Lynsey telling me the ministry was on the Lord’s Return and how much I would love it so to take a listen on the website. This was followed the next week by another text saying how nearby Winsley looked a lovely village and she thought I would love it there. Ben and Jenny were actually close by at a wedding, also noting the beautiful countryside around Winsley! So the computer has been busy on Rightmove once again. On Thursday evening Steve rang inviting us down to see them just as Julian’s face was lighting up over a property in Winsley. Was that a call? Saturday evening I emailed through a request for 2 viewings, feeling in a strong position as this week the bungalow passed its survey and our buyer said he wants everything to move swiftly to exchange. On Saturday in bed ready to read my bible, I looked around our homely bedroom and thought how I don’t exactly want to move. After all, our children began their lives here. Then came a voice in my head saying “It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance.” I had come full circle since that evening at Susie’s.

So now it is Sunday. Julian suggested a transfer to a hospital nearer Cheshunt and was met with a negative response. But how amazing that every blood test or chemo session is used so productively. I met a brick wall when trying to find a solicitor in Cheshunt but the solicitor in Ash couldn’t have been more helpful, even kneeling down on the floor at Julian’s feet to pick the papers he needed from his conveyancing folder. The timing was perfect. The forms we had to fill in came just right to be answered and posted back through the letterbox. The buyer of the bungalow ‘just happened’ to be passing when I was in the garden so I was able to chat with him. This week Julian can have his blood test and break the journey to Bristol at Ash as well as post the signed contract through the solicitor’s door. The following week we can be there for his 2^nd chemo and meet up with Ben and Jenny on their return from honeymoon in Bermuda! Maybe God doesn’t want a transfer-or maybe the transfer is to Bath!

 

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support in direction

12^th August

When I put my pen away yesterday I did not know if I would ever pick it up again. I have had no call from God as to where to go or if to go but there is another link forged in the chain. Yesterday Julian felt led to text Charles and invite him to pop in on the way back from visiting his Mum. Charles replied that he’d love to and he’d be along shortly. As it turned out he’d been too tired to visit his Mum but he’d made the time to visit us! And his opening question launched straight into a 2 hour discussion on where we might be heading! The Lord had obviously prepared his heart too, even though he knew nothing of our possible journey! He gave us pastoral advice in the way only Charles can. He gave us his 4 sweet peas….1) prayer (yes, we continue to do that), 2) principles, (to use bible principles in considering our move such as young Timothy being nurtured by his grandmother Lois), 3) people. (We need to talk to people and glean encouragement and advice and opinions from them) and 4) pushing doors. (Actively searching.) He prayed with us concerning our possible move. I felt that God wasn’t so much in front of us as behind us. Charles, our wonderful minister who has shown us so much care and encouragement over the past 6 ½ years, prayed for our journey in our own front room. That was powerful. It felt like he was giving us his blessing on a move and was interceding on our behalf and searching for the way forward. He left me with a couple of verses. “But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying “You are my God”. My future is in Your hands”; and “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His Will in all you do, and He will direct your paths.” This morning we received a text from Sue, our neighbour at the bungalow, asking if she could show her friend around the property! I don’t know if anything will come of it but at least we have a viewer! This morning we were also given a valuation on our house here. Today I just happened to read an old card……..”Please come and see us in Bristol soon. All my love, Lyns.” Today Steve phoned and said “come to Bristol.” But where? When?

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uncertain times

11^th August

“God may give us transition periods and times of waiting to help us depend on Him and trust His timing. If we patiently do His will during the transition times, we will be better prepared to serve Him as we should when He calls us.”

That is what I read in the NLT notes last night under Abraham’s call. Today I feel like a bruised reed but I am not broken. God keeps His promises. Over the past few weeks I have spent hours on Rightmove looking for somewhere to go. Everywhere ends in a dead end. Too crowded, too rural, too busy, not enough shops, no train links, no hospital, no church, too near, too far. Does the place we think we might be going to even exist? Are we going on a journey or staying in Cheshunt? Until we have a call we are content to wait. Perhaps this is the end of the chapter but perhaps it is only the end of the beginning.

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